Life is a journey. How many times have I heard that expression? Better question, how many times have I repeated that expression? One of the many things I have learned in my 60 plus years is that Life will come at you - even when you are sitting still.
If that is true, then tomorrow begins a new phase of my journey. I have pondered whether or not to write about this new phase of my journey or continue to remain silent. I decided that my entire life has been about learning's and I receive great personal satisfaction when I can share or impart some words of wisdom. This new phase I am about to embark holds the possibility of multitudes of learnings. Therefore I must share.
How ironic that my last blog was about a book "30 Days to Live" and treasuring each moment. Little did I know that a few weeks later I would have a routine mammogram that would indicate the need for additional mammograms and an ultrasound. Then came the registered letter and referral to a surgeon. Tomorrow is the biopsy, both sides and three different locations. Routine has become not so routine. But that has been the theme of my life anyway - if you can't do it big, don't do it at all.
The first mistake I have made (so far) is reading everything I could find on the internet, looking at pictures, reading the questions I should have asked, but didn't and seeing the range of "what if's." Best case, worse case, plan A and plan B.
I must confess I am not looking forward to the needles, the incisions, the soreness and the numerous nameless faces that will be in my personal space, with hands on areas of my body reserved only for a select few. But I am not afraid. A little distracted, but not afraid.
So...Today is the last day of this part of my journey. A normal day, call my husband who is on the road, feed the dogs, get a haircut, vacuum the carpet, go to work to make up some work time lost tomorrow, and try to decide what to wear. Ummm...what do you wear to a biopsy? Or better yet, what do you wear after the biopsy? And just like any other day, I probably will not decide what to wear until the last minute. Oh, knowing me, I will probably bring several options - just in case.
This should be an interesting week...biopsy at the beginning - birthday at the end. Somewhere in between the results of the biopsy. I know whatever the outcome, I will be changed...forever.
My next blog will either be a simple YEAH! or the beginning of a discourse of learnings. Writing always keeps me sane. Keep your prayer beads close, hug somebody, pet the dog, kiss the baby and I will be back soon.
Sue, this is a very brave thing to write about. Both Jen and I will be thinking and praying for you, and expectantly waiting for your "YEAH!" blog. If we get the beginning of a discourse of learnings instead, we'll keep on pulling for you. Thanks for posting this and for being a continued inspiration!
ReplyDelete-Dean